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The Wedding Experience that Changed Me

As a young African American girl growing up in a middle-class family, my greatest obsession was achieving financial stability and independence by the time I turned 30. In my plans, I projected that I would finish college at 22, earn a master’s degree at 26, and have a stable job before my thirtieth birthday. As determined as I was to achieve these objectives,  I threw myself into books and studying to boost my prospects for success.  It never occurred to me, even for the briefest moment,  that my priorities will shift drastically on my best friend’s wedding day. As the bride’s best lady, I was also in the day’s limelight as I held her flowing gown and escorted her down the aisle. Seeing the sparkle of happiness in the bride’s eyes and the glow of joy on her face ignited a strong longing in me for love and companionship, causing me to look forward to the day I will also walk down the aisle to get married.

For much of my teenage life,  my single obsession was graduating from college and securing a well-paying job to enable me enjoy a luxurious lifestyle. Driving a cheap car on the interstate expressways, I envied the high-end cars that zoomed past me like meteors. Through lowered windows and open sunroofs, I saw the drivers’ happy faces as they meandered through traffic, no doubt hurrying to various pleasure destinations. I imagined immersing myself in Las Vegas’s glittering nightlife,  lying bareback on Florida’s warm sandy beaches, or going mountain-climbing in California’s sunny weather. In my mind, affording such luxuries was the best way to live the American dream to the fullest. After all, each of my friends was equally yearning for life in the fast lane, and my parents never ceased reminding me to take my education seriously since it was the key to a better future. 

The wedding experience jolted me out of my teenage obsessions and plunged me into a new world, where love and family mattered more than anything else. Admittedly, it coincided with my maturation and increasing sexual consciousness as I became more socially active. I had just began my first serious relationship,  but it was something I enjoyed for the fun of hanging out with the opposite sex and having worthy stories to share with my female friends. However, the wedding experience changed my worldviews and desires as it exposed me to the thrill of being loved and the promise of lifelong companionship.

As the bridesmaid, I was the closest person to the bride on her biggest day. Standing beside her, I could feel the warmth on her skin, the anticipation in her breath, and the eagerness in her eyes. In the dressing room, she stood staring at the mirror for a long time, perhaps reflecting on the life-changing decision she was just about to make. As I watched her, however, I could not help noticing that she was looking forward to the moment her man would put a ring on her finger. I caught flashes of smiles on her face and saw her cheeks blush whenever her fiancé’s name was mentioned. The glitter in her eyes and the glow on her face told me that this was the happiest moment in her life. 

As I walked with the bride down the aisle towards the dais, we were swallowed in a chorus of music, cheers and applause. A cheerful piano tune blasted from the speakers, followed by the most melodic chorus I had ever heard. The music aroused my spirits to a new level, surpassing every high moment I had ever imagined before; not even the promise of Las Vegas’s glitz came close to what I felt at that moment as I walked behind the bride, who looked like a floating angel in her flowing white gown. I was momentarily carried off by the joyous burst of music and applause around us, and almost forgot that it was my friend’s wedding and not mine. In that brief moment, however, I felt my heart melt and my whole body vibrate with a new desire; the desire for love and family life. While at the back of my mind I knew that it was not yet time for me to think about these things, it undoubtedly changed my outlook on life in general. 

The fast life I had once obsessed with no longer appealed to me. The nice cars and luxuries I had once dreamed of paled in comparison with the sense of fulfillment I saw on my friend’s face. In the span of a moment, I looked at life a new and developed a desire for a different set of things.  I was no longer the teenage girl who believed that happiness was found in material things. I was no longer the impatient girl who wanted to finish college and secure a job to afford a luxurious lifestyle. Instead,  I transitioned into a young woman who even with all her ambitions for success, looked forward to the day she will walk down the aisle to start a family.